what to say after 30 days no contact

Most of my readers will know that I am a large laic that to win your ex-fellow back yous should always start with a solid menstruum of no-contact. I recommend this to assistance you get your head straight, work on yourself and give your ex-boyfriend some time to get over whatever negative feelings they may accept towards you lot and start to miss you.

But you tin can't stay in no-contact forever, then what do you exercise afterward?

Well…. It seems obvious but it is time to reach out and initiate contact!

Yous start with texting your ex-boyfriend and become from in that location…. And that is what this article is going to talk about.

We are going to talk over: –

1. The Offset Contact Text Message
2. Zeigarnik Effect
3. Positive, Neutral, Negative responses and No Replies
4. Side by side steps

If you lot are reading this because yous are coming to the end of your no-contact period, congratulations!!!… no contact is difficult, and then well done for getting this far!

The side by side stage of winning your ex back is the texting phase.

During your no contact menstruation the focus is on self-improvement, becoming the Ungettable Girl, posting to social media and not texting your ex or stalking your ex-boyfriend's social media.

Now that you are entering the texting phase the approach is going to alter and nosotros are going to start introducing some new elements into the plan to get your ex-boyfriend dorsum.

What can you see from this moving-picture show?

That all your self-improvement to go the Ungettable Girl is fundamental to all your efforts in winning your ex back. All your texting activities will exist positively influenced by the new improved you.

In one case you are in the texting phase you volition continue to post astonishing pictures to social media simply and so too commencement to introduce texts, followed by telephone calls and lastly you are going to start going on dates with your ex-boyfriend.

The phone calls and dates should exist scheduled later in the texting phase, this is because y'all will need to gradually build-upwardly some rapport with your ex and we will accept about that more later.

Regardless of the reason you broke upwardly with your ex-boyfriend the first thing y'all volition demand to do subsequently your no-contact period is send a First Contact text message.

Sending Yous First Text Message

Some of y'all may take already planned out your texting schedule, if not don't worry it is not an essential role of the plan to win your ex back only information technology will brand the texting process easier if you have.

Your "Commencement Contact" text message should exist something non-threatening and low pressure that volition brand your ex-young man want to reply. Information technology should be something that is:-

• Fun
• Interesting
• Positive

When you send your first bulletin to your ex-fellow, I want yous to practise something totally counter-intuitive and avoid…..

• Mentioning the breakdown
• Saying yous miss him
• Saying you want to get back together.

It is a good idea to focus your first contact text message around his hobbies and interests. The sort of topics you could use include talking about his favorite sports squad, Tv shows he likes, things about his pet or fifty-fifty his favorite local bar.

There are two types of Starting time Contact text messages.

1. The Million Dollars Technique
2. The Curiosity Technique

The 1000000 Dollars Technique

I call this the Meg Dollars technique because everyone wants to hear that they have won a Million Dollars!

What this text does is share information that your ex would be super excited to hear about. This type of text is suited to breakups that happened on relatively good terms.

Here are some examples of what your showtime contact text message might expect like:-

You lot run into what is swell most this text is that it shows your ex-boyfriend that you are in a good mood and it is safe to talk to you.

You lot are likewise starting a conversation with your ex that he is going to find both interesting and easy to reply to because it doesn't require too much thinking.

Finally adding a funny picture brings the text message to life and makes information technology seem more fun. Generally speaking texts that include funny pictures become amend responses than those without.

Merely remember that you lot should non be sending pictures of yourself to your ex when you first make contact as this volition seem too forward.

The Marvel Text

I really like this blazon of text message because information technology really grabs the attention, it utilizes something called the Zeigarnik Effect to get your ex to answer! This blazon of text is perfect if you lot retrieve your ex is really unlikely to reply to you lot.

The Zeigarnik Upshot is the cliff-hanger technique they utilise in TV shows to pique you lot involvement and get you coming back next week to watch the show.

For instance

You are watching television and the master grapheme is in a automobile chase and suddenly he drives off a cliff….

You know what happens next!

The testify ends with "TO Exist CONTINUED" and yous have to wait until next week to run into if he has survived.

You lot can use this effect in your First Contact Text message past dangling a carrot of data in-front end of your ex-boyfriend and then make him look to find out what the information is.

Here is an actual example of a 18-carat curiosity text that was donated to me from one of the girls on the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery support group: –

What I actually like about this text is that it subtly tells your ex that you are improving yourself by working out and thus going to be even hotter than when he bankrupt up with you. When he hears this, he is going to start stalking your social media IMMEDIATELY, so make sure y'all accept some not bad pictures up that he can come across.

The other affair I love near this text message is that it is fun and unusual…… How ofttimes practice you actually run across a domestic dog in your gym?

It really is something an ex-fellow would never be able to guess!

What helps this blazon of text works fifty-fifty ameliorate if y'all can keep your ex-boyfriend in suspense you before you give him the answer about what you saw…. Ideally make him wait 30-45 mins when he asks what the information is, that is how you lot create a cliff hanger!

At that place are other ways you tin can utilize the Zeigarnik event to create a cliff-hanger through your social media too.

For Instance

You might post something similar this on Facebook:-

The first affair your ex-young man is going to do when he sees this is wonder what the large proclamation volition exist…..

Does she accept a new task?

Has she bought a firm?

Did she get engaged?

But the best part is he won't take whatever real idea what your announcement is, so it will bulldoze him crazy wondering incessantly.

To go along your cliff hanger going y'all would leave that post up for a couple of days before texting him something like this:-

I really love this approach because your ex is going to exist in suspense for a couple of days, regularly checking your social media to effigy out what information technology could be.

The other thing I like is that information technology has the potential to give you some feedback every bit to whether he is actually checking your Facebook and having this kind of information is really helpful when trying to get your ex back!

In that location are of import factors you need to bear in listen when having your first text conversation and that is ever terminate the conversation on a high point.

I want you to expect until the conversation gets actually interesting for him and so immediately end it past either ghosting or proverb you lot are off out with friends. When you end on a high point you are going to get out him wanting more, and this will encourage him to start texting you.

In other words, it gets him to start chasing you!

Ex Boyfriend Response Types

When you transport your First Contact Text Message to your ex-young man he is going to reply to you in one of four means.

1. Positive response
2. Negative response
3. Neutral response
4. No reply

Positive response

If your ex responds positively he might say something back like: –

• "Haha that is neat!"
• "Thanks for the heads up! It'south good to hear from you!"

If you go a positive response I want you to expect iii days from your starting time contact text message before you start some other text chat.

Why?….. to make him wonder if you lot will text again, to show you aren't a text GNAT and finally to give him sometime to initiate a conversation if he wants to.

A GNAT is a person who Goes Nuts At Texting! It is someone who texts your telephone then often it starts to explode….. this is a huge turnoff for men and will only reinforce in his mind that the breakup was the right decision.

One time a few days accept passed and your ex has non reached out to you after you take your first conversation, that'southward not a problem. It doesn't matter who starts the chat, it but matters who ends it….

You lot need to be the person who ends the conversations every bit this will give the power and let you to have dorsum command from him afterward the breakup and make him hunt y'all.

Neutral response

The neutral response is something that generally tends to happen when your ex-boyfriend is curious enough to respond to your text but isn't excited plenty to generate a positive respond or he is nervous about why you are suddenly texting after a month of no-contact.

Hither is an example of what a neutral response might expect like:-

• "Ok"
• "Cool"
• "Thanks"

Equally y'all can come across the neutral response isn't necessarily bad, it just isn't going to blow yous abroad when you read it.

When you get a neutral reply, it is going to be pretty tempting to chase later on him and attempt and push the conversation further.

Do NOT TEXT HIM BACK!

Remember what I said earlier?…. Information technology matters who ends the chat.

If you get a neutral response, that is a big betoken that the conversation needs to end. If you try to button the conversation further he will terminate the chat and you volition lose the power.

When y'all get a neutral response to your first contact text message yous should await 5 or 6 days before texting him again with the other first contact text massage format.

What I recommend is that if you get a neutral response from your ex take some time to review the message y'all sent and enquire yourself

"Was this exciting or interesting plenty? Would I want to respond to this?"

I am a big fan of reviewing the data yous are getting from your ex, so it's a great idea to proceed a log about what you are learning from your ex's responses.

Negative Response

This kind of text is never pleasant for yous to receive just it doesn't mean things are totally doomed forever! 
When your ex-boyfriend sends you a negative response information technology normally means that he is not ready to talk and needs a little while longer to become over the pain of the breakup earlier he starts to miss y'all.

Hither are examples of Negative responses:-

• "I hate what you did to us"
• "Leave me solitary!"
• "It is over!"
• "I'grand seeing someone"

If your ex responds negatively towards your offset contact text message answer and say this before going dorsum into a mini co-contact period.

"I understand you are upset, I will get out yous in peace, promise yous are doing well"

If you get a negative response from your ex I suggest you wait between 2-4 weeks before trying to text your ex-boyfriend over again.
If your ex is angry for no reason or says he is seeing someone new then I think it is prophylactic to wait two weeks.

The best approach to take if your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend is to use the "Being At that place Method" which I cover in more than detail in Ex-Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

If your ex is angry because your breakup was caused past major life bug like alcoholism then wait 3 weeks. If this is the case retrieve nearly whether you need to make a one off apology for your behavior.

If your ex is angry because you lot cheated I would definitely wait 4 weeks before trying to re-contact your ex-young man, again a one off amends is probably a adept idea hither before returning to no contact.

Sometimes a few days after you get a negative response from your ex, he will text you once more with an apology. If this happens it is a expert indicator that your ex-boyfriend has calmed down enough to accept a chat and you should answer calmly.

The last thing I will say about negative responses is that if you are greeted with an angry response from your ex, do not to chase afterward him and practice non go a GNAT.

No reply

Now this ane is probably the hardest i to deal with.

Imagine the situation…..

You have been missing your ex-boyfriend for a month whilst you lot painfully wait out no contact.

You've been working then hard on improving yourself and yous are excited to show off the new you.

You spend all 24-hour interval wondering what to text, you finally craft the perfect text message and press transport……………..

Minutes afterwards you see the notification that it has been read but y'all become no reply from your ex….

You check your telephone every 5 minutes, but still nothing comes….

That's got to be pretty heart-breaking, right?

You can imagine how that panic might set in as yous commencement to wonder why he is ignoring you. For a lot of my readers getting no answer feels much worse than getting a negative reply considering information technology leaves them wondering what is going on.

If your ex-boyfriend doesn't respond to your first contact text message then y'all should be patient and expect it out for 7-x days. Please do non GNAT your ex!

Quite frequently an ex-beau will read your message and be so surprised you have text that he doesn't know what to say. He volition basically become scared near replying in case he says the incorrect matter and then won't answer until he is set.

Another reason he might non answer is because of your behavior after the breakup, if you were a major Text Gnat then he might worry that you are almost to first bombarding him with texts if he replies. By not replying to your Get-go Contact Text Bulletin, he is testing to encounter if yous are a text gnat, so don't fail the test!!!

Next steps

So what happens later you lot take received a positive reply to your Showtime Contact Text Message? 
Easy!……..Yous are going to ship more texts!

You see….. one text alone won't get your ex-boyfriend dorsum.

What is required is a serial of texts to build some rapport i.e. get him to start liking yous again.
When this happens you lot can escalate and first adding phone calls to your texts to build even more rapport.

Then you can offset going on some dates to build on your text and phone calls!

Heady stuff!

And then to round up let's have a quick recap on what we have covered.

• You demand to continue to piece of work on your self-comeback and becoming the Ungettable Girl.
• Y'all should ship either Million Dollar or Marvel technique First Contact text bulletin.
• You should always stop a chat on a loftier.
• You should NEVER gnat or chase subsequently him.
• You should refer to the positive, negative, neutral and no response waiting times before initiating farther contact with a second text message.
• That your next steps are to send some more texts, escalate to phone calls and so escalate to dates building rapport at every level as yous get!

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Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-to-do-after-the-no-contact-period/

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